You really date some terrible guys don't you?”
Someone said this to me at brunch one day, sitting in a cafe on Melbourne's Chapel Street.
I'm sure I must have been telling a story about one of my exes or my last failed date.
I'd get asked a lot about my dating life and I always had a story to tell, tragic or funny, but always entertaining.
But at this moment, hearing these words from him, I felt my stomach turn.
And no this isn't a story about some time I got food poisoning at brunch.
My stomach turned because my intuition was telling me that I didn't like hearing those words. I knew I had to make a choice.
So I said, "Yes, I used to date a lot of terrible guys". It was time to make that story past tense.
This moment was a game-changer for me and the lesson for you isn't about dating.
Is there a part of your life that you've chosen to change?
My bet is that you're already doing the work of changing the limiting beliefs in the quiet of your own room.
But you may have missed one key thing like I had.
There may be an old story that keeps getting reinforced back to you, by friends, family, work colleagues or even your partner.
It isn't anyone's fault, it's what you've taught them is ok.
This situation taught me that all the hard work I'd been doing; meditating, saying affirmations and envisioning attracting the most amazing guy, would get reversed every time I caught up with people.
Old stories kept getting oxygen.
In the process of trying to change a part of my life, I kept telling tragic dating stories, or stories about my not-so-nice exes. Which gave those around me permission to tell those stories back to me.
This kept a narrative playing out in the world that 'I don't attract good guys' or 'There's Louise, she's really amazing, but just has zero luck in her dating life!'
My future self who attracted amazing guys couldn't arrive so long as I kept this old story alive and kicking. So I had to kill it. I had to make that story history.
Maybe you have a story that you're trying to change about money, career, relationships, friends or something else completely?
So do what I did. Keep working on the inner dialogue and that relationship with yourself.
But the key to changing anything in your life is also...
Gently reminding others around you that the story of who you were, isn't who you are now.
You are making a conscious decision to change and need them to know it too. You only want to tell the story of this new version of yourself.
Words are powerful after all.
So what's your story and how are you changing it?
And how can you start to speak to yourself and others in a way that puts that old story to bed and brings a new one to life?
Your story and your life is whatever you choose it to be.
Love Louise xx
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